Runner’s Low

According to the plan I jogged for an hour today. It didn’t go particularly well but at least I didn’t go any slower (or faster for that matter) than usual. I always run without a watch and without a pulsimeter (is that the English word?) because I only get stressed out by instruments like that.
I actually don’t know why I run. It hurts and rarely gives pleasure. Only afterwards do I feel all right, but it’s more a feeling of having a clean conscience than anything else. You’d think that you’d get into running after so many kilometres that it would actually feel good. So why it is that I am still such a lousy runner?